Much Ado About Nothing?

I'm sorry, I know you probably don't want to do anymore squinting and guessing with me. But, it is what it is. And, well. We don't know what it is. But, hey! At least I'm not making you look at urine.

You Didn't Think I Was Done Peeing On Things And Then Showing Them Off... Did You?

Yes, I am completely paranoid. Morning sickness and all. Paranoid.

These are from three days ago, two days before that, two days before that, and two days before that. I made my first appointment with the OB for next Wednesday, so hopefully we'll find a heartbeat and I can start heparin. That always makes it feel so much more real. Also, I'll get a better idea of how far along we are, since it's kind of up in the air, what with taking the clomid and all.

Oh, and here's one from this morning.

(Paranoid).

UPDATE! More Pee! On More Sticks! With Comparative Pee Stick Pictures!!!

I'm not sure who I thought I was kidding when I said I would wait three days before testing again. Hah. So, here's my test from this morning. I'm pretty sure it's an unequivocal positive. I didn't need to squint, and I didn't even need to wait the full three minutes to render my ruling.

Two. Lines.

Obviously, this doesn't mean we will have a baby in November - a whole lot of stuff has to go well to make a person. But, I'd say so far we're headed in the right direction.

(Just for good measure, here are the three tests. Today, two days ago, and two days before that. Because you wanted to see them. Right?)

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And now for pretty much the worst segue ever. Hop on over and see
my article on proper freezing techniques over at Smithfield! (Please?).

Because You Really Want to Help Me Scrutinize the Things I Pee On?

EDIT: I texted this picture to my doctor. His official response is: inconclusive, test again in three days. In the mean time, I'm going to take a nap.

SECOND EDIT: Sarah asked to see more things that I've peed on. And, since I'm good like that, here ya go. The stick labeled '1' is from two days ago, the stick labeled '2' is from this morning. Any thoughts?

Moving Onward.

The procedure went very well. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who expressed their support. We still don't have an answer for why after a year of making like rabbits, there are no babies, but the scary stuff and the stuff that requires surgery has been ruled out.

Big exhale.

Next step is Clomid. Wesley is secretly (desperately) hoping for less than three babies. I am secretly (not so desperately) hoping for two.

Because Occassionally You Just Need to Feel in Control of Something.

The evening before the last day of school each year (sometimes even the morning of the last day) I would slink into my mom's room and ask her to cut my hair. Not trim. Cut. Surely she thought I was crazy, but every year my mom obliged.

I've made no secret of my want for more children, or our lack of success in that department. When we passed the requisite six months of trying, my doctor said to give it a little more time. Which made complete sense. I was still breastfeeding and even though it took us a long time to get our first born, conception was never the issue. I mean I practically have Irish triplets so clearly I know how to breed. Right?

Except, then another six months passed. So I trudged back to the doctor, who agreed it was probably worth checking out. My blood work came back normal and Wesley's swimmers are in tip top shape, but they did see something funky on my ultrasound. "Probably endometriosis." "Probably nothing to worry about."

Friday morning I go in for a hysteroscopy to get a closer look at the goods. It's "probably nothing to worry about." And yet, like any other red blooded woman would, I do. There's a big looming question mark in my life.

Tomorrow feels a lot like the last day of school.

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On a lighter note, I'm talking about my 45 minute, nearly-ready philosophy on life
at Smithfield. I've even included a recipe! Do be a doll and pop on over? Puh-lease.

Somber Monday.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully
irrational act that two people in love can commit.

- Bill Cosby

I'm still mourning the fact that my baby is one. And [as crazy as I know it must sound], the fact that we haven't been able to get pregnant again.

Yes, yes... it will come with time. But in this moment, I am sad.

A Tribute to Modern Medicine. a.k.a. Why My Belly Looks Like a Well Used Pin Cushion. a.k.a. AntiPhospholipid Antibody Syndrome Kind of Sucks.

So, a few people have asked why I don't show my bare belly in the pregnancy pictures I post. The answer is, it's a little bit modesty, but not really because I'm not especially modest. I mean, much to my sister's dismay I have a whole category about boobies on the internet. So, mostly it's because I don't want to gross everyone out and lose all my friends.

I have antiphospholipid antibody syndrome (APS), which is a fancy way of saying my blood is too sticky. Normally I take a low dose aspirin every day to counter the effects, but when I'm pregnant the extra hormones up the stickiness factor, and so I use injectable blood thinners twice a day. In my belly. Which makes for a really ugly picture. Not to mention, I have stretch marks. A lot.

The APS, unfortunately, complicates pregnancy. It's to blame for my two miscarriages and can be tangentially blamed for my two emergency c-sections. Also, it means I have to go to the doctor a LOT. I've been going three times a month since the begining of my pregnancy (twice a month to my regular OB and once a month to the high risk folks), and starting this month I will go every week to my regular OB for check ups and NST's and also once a month to the high risk folks. Starting in September? Twice (and sometimes three times) a week! Woot!

I know, sounds like a major pain, and kind of it is, but also it's nice to see my doctors so often and be constantly reassured that everything's going well. Plus, I get so many pictures of the soon-to-be baby! And who doesn't love that?

p.s. I recently learned that I'm in good company with my APS. Heather and Jenny (yes, I AM totally pretending I actually know them) have it too.

p.p.s. If you're still curious, you can see a picture of my jacked up belly here. Don't say I didn't warn you.