Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Nice Melons!

Guess what smells like fish?


No, not that type of fish. More like this...


Well, let me tell you... We spent a very lovely long weekend with my parents and Aunt Sally & Uncle Doug in South Florida. We went fishing (see first picture). We played dinosaurs...

We laughed and were silly!


The only hiccup (or so we thought...) was a split lip on Casey's part. (ouch!) But in true boy fashion, it didn't slow him down!


But then... we came home... to the smell. What can only be described as Long John Silver's gone terribly horribly wrong, this stench permeated the entire house and had no distinct source. It was beyond wretched.

We searched and searched but couldn't find the rogue diaper, or fish, or dead moose that was causing such an assault on our home and smellers.

Until.

Until, I stepped in it. Slimy, putrid and sticky. I followed the puddle to a drip on the counter where there was a larger puddle. A big, smelly dead fish-like puddle. With no apparent source! What was going on here?! I moved the crock-pot out of the way to see if there was something behind it. Nothing. I moved the fryer out of the way. Nothing. I moved the cantaloupe.

OH MY GOOD HOLY HELL THE CANTALOUPE HAS TURNED INTO A ROTTING FISH!!!!
Seriously, folks. Apparently, after a week, cantaloupe returns to it's natural state as a dead liquid sea monster. And guess what else is really awesome? Granite is pourus and permeable. Mmmmm. Which means the stink remains. So, I'm taking suggestions on how to get rid of it. And I'm not opposed to fire or sledgehammers. Seriously, folks.
_________________________

p.s. In the interest of full disclosure, I totally photoshopped makeup onto my face in that first picture. Which is why I look like a 1st grader who raided Mommy's lipstick drawer. But trust me, it's still better than the original.


p.p.s. More WW here & here.

19 comments:

Erin, Nick and Merrick said...

Photoshopped lipstick......
Whoa.
:)

Cassie said...

You photoshopped lipstick on? ha! I would have never thought to do that. Great pics!

Muthering Heights said...

Ewwwwww!

Anonymous said...

OMG April! You photoshopped makeup on yourself! Ya know I think you're lovely but I was looking at the picture of you like "something's different". HA!
Shelli

Cascia said...

Beautiful photos. It sounds like you had a great time in Florida. I couldn't imagine coming home to the smell of a rotten cantaloupe. I wish I knew how to get rid of the smell but I can't help you there. Good luck!

Jen said...

you are too funny. I have a cantaloupe on my counter right now. I think that I am going to move it to the fridge.

Desiree said...

Baking soda and lemon? Paste it on and let it soak? A new countertop? Eek...

Totally LMAO that you photoshopped makeup onto yourself. I wondered what happened to you!!!! ROFL

Tracy said...

The photoshopped lipstick cracks me up!

Rotten potatoes smell like death, too. What's worse is grabbing the bag to check and having your hand sink into potato slime.

I'd try baking soda on the granite.

Krista Neil said...

I've heard vinegar is a cure-all for stenches, but I haven't tried it.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Can you photoshop the smell out of your counter?

Always helpful,

Jenni

Anita said...

Oh ick........and I don't have granite, so I'm not really sure what is safe.......but I'm guessing baking soda or vinegar.......not together...LOL.
I am not a good photoshopper.....but I would have never thought to put make up on myself.......you are too funny, and I was thinking you were a little heavy on the lip color!!!

Fred said...

Hi April...here via the Black Box.

The photos are great, and the photoshopped is a brilliant idea!

It seems like only yesterday my three were that young...

Suzie said...

Yum did you cook it up for stew?

Ali said...

I tried to photoshop lipstick on a pic of my sis once but she turned out looking like Stephen King's Pennywise the Clown! You did a great job! Sorry about the stink:)

CarrieJ said...

I was going to say some kind of Baking Soda Paste smeared on it to sit.
I did know that potatoes will rot into a nasty rancid puddle.

Heather said...

I just found your blog through MBC. I've never had a cantalope go bad but on a few occasions had potatoes go bad and I have had to gag my way through cleaning that mess up! Hope you figure out a way to clean up the stench that seeped into your counters...maybe lemon would work? Vinegar?

PINKMONKEY said...

I had no idea that I could photoshop make-up on me. How handy is that??? And I once had the same thing happen to my Halloween pumpkins. They completely liquified inside the shell. P.U.!!!

Anissa Mayhew said...

dude, you're like Jesus. You turned cantaloupe into fish. Good thing? I don't know, but i'm damned impressed!

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